Sticks and Stones

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Sixth Sense

The Sri Lankan wildlife officials are currently reporting that, although 22,000 people died along the coast, no wildlife is reported injured. What does that say exactly? That we as people are so far removed from nature that we cannot sense imminent natural disaster - - - so far removed from nature that not even a rabbit was found dead where 22,000 human bodies lay dead. The overall count of human devastation due to the Tsunami/earthquake in South Asia is even higher - - up to 125,00 now, but with relief efforts finding difficulty in reaching victims and drinking water being turned to sewage, the number will rise.

The number of people killed by this natural disaster may well reach half a million in the coming weeks and there is some talk that another earthquake/tsunami may hit. This talk could be paranoid or scientifically just.....likely it is a bit of both and if history repeats itself as it seems to, I would imagine the first strike was the worst. It is now our duty to deal with the aftermath. Personally, I would like to help in the reconstruction/relief efforts because it seems so much more important than anything I do with my time now. So many people need help and food and shelter - - I just need to get my student loan officers off my back - - so I have it really easy.

However, these are my fears: 1)More devastation of Asia/Africa leading to unnecessary death,and 2)The poor people affected by the tsunami will not be given the aid they need or worse will somehow be exploited. The first fear is both paranoid and realistic and merely shows some compassion - right? The second fear is also paranoid and filled with empathy but also real true.....I mean really. So far the US has pledged $35 million in aid to South Asia which on first glance sounds good - but look again. It is estimated by reliable news sources that the Iraqi War has cost us in dollars alone (not life) an estimated $200 billion.....yes with a B.

You may think comparing compassionate humanity for those stricken by natural disaster should not be compared with a military effort to democratize a country (or whatever they are calling it now) - - which is fine with me. Comparisons are individualistic in nature for the most part because usually the comparor (if you will) is comparing two things to make a point. I mean there is no other Tsunami devastation of this magnitude to compare the US's charity efforts with - - so take from my comparisons what you will. Here is another comparison - - just for kicks - - Tom Cruise and Jim Carey makes upwards of $20 million per flick and my favorite ball player Jason Varitek just got signed for $40 million......but rampant natural devastation of South Asia has yielded $35 million in US aid. I am sure that the dollars of US aid will increase. I do have that much faith in my country and its members and simply am trying to illustrate a point that is both obvious and interesting but often forgotten.

In closing, I 'd like to return to the issue of why wild animals are still so connected to nature that for the most part they have escaped this massive disaster virtually unharmed. I can only wonder where our sixth sense went or has it just changed? Is it more likely that I could sense Dan Rather retiring or how much money Randy Johnson will get then the onslaught of an earthquake? Is this acceptable or merely unavoidable?

The real issue here is of course how to help and hope to cope. That question we must each answer for ourselves. Money is good to donate if you have it and there are some relief efforts being formed all over the US to get food and clothes together - - check your local listings. I have contacted the red cross to see what I can do since I am poor but healthy and alive. Maybe our country of individuals will answer the cry for help in a larger way than our government has been able to help thus far.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

A footnote on my Life from 35 floors up

Working here, 35 floors up on this silly computer making certain lists agree with other lists and then making new lists that help to both confuse,streamline and dovetail all previous lists is certainly an exercise in futility. Yet, it does give me time to think which may or may not be a good thing.

Mainly, today I am think of how very tired I am and how much I achingly miss my pillow - - your pillow - - any pillow, hell, I'll sleep on the floor under my desk. But it is a good kind of tired that comes from a decent sober sleepless night filled with discussions, bliss, understanding and a certain amount of contentment that can only be achieved by just such a night.

(I really do like the Arcade Fire album....I wasn't sure about it but I feel more secure in that thought now.)

My mind is troubled with thoughts of War and tsunamis and the Bar Exam. I am also thinking a lot about Susan Sontag dying and what an interesting writer she was with an interesting life. I recall reading Illness as a Metaphor in college and then writing this stellar literary critique of contemporary literature (so lofty we are in college). I remember sardonically remarking about Sontag's Illness as a metaphor in only a footnote. It is not that I disagreed with Sontag, I merely saw the inevitable irony of trying to escape using illness as a metaphor and the trappings of such devices within an essay which refers to the kingdom of well and ill and some such things. Metaphor upon metaphor piled upon each other in either an attempt to defile metaphors as a whole, urge more careful metaphorical use or simply and ironically point out the absolute truth of how we do use illness of a metaphor and how that makes the ill feel. Sontag herself died of cancer yesterday after waging a 30 year battle against the disease or perhaps not waging a battle at all but living for the last 30 years of her life in the kingdom of the ill and reporting to us from that vantage point.

Sontag for me raises memories of college and crisp fall air, staying up for hours writing papers that were due quite soon, and running across campus to the comp. lit. building to turn in the paper with the footnote to my saxophone playing, cigarette smoking professor who wrote a book called 'On Drugs'. That professor loved my half-baked attempts to be witty and the way in which I admired all the authors I quoted, challenged them and thought of them secretly as friends (at least within the confines of the pages which we share). Inevitably this professor greatly affected my life by showing me that one can go against the grain and achieve happiness or some close facsimile of it. This lesson I so need to learn and do learn again and again. He was the kind of professor who waged one man revolts against the faculty by moving his desk into the attic of the department in protest - - - I am sure he is still waging his quiet wars and giving students a reason to show up for class. His assignments were often wacky but always stimulating and allowed me to find something to love about school again after I had thoroughly bored of the ancient English department. The English department at my university offered nothing but scorn to its students and almost zero encouragement. I was on the verge on believing that my English B.A. was worthless when I encountered Paris, Comparative Literature, Susan Sontag and my super cool jazzy professor. These experiences offered me the life source that the dust of the English department could not. I drink the water of my collegiate days now in a toast to a divine and truly remarkable woman....Susan Sontag. Imagine she is barely a footnote in a paper I wrote in college, but her effect on my life was so profound that I will miss her pen as it will now and forever lie still.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Silent Night

So....it has been awhile and I don't know that I am in a huge writing mood but such is life. Today I rescued a cat - I hope. This will probably infuriate my friend whom we'll call lovely G but that only makes it all the better. Still cats out there in the world - bucko!

This kitty got hit by a car or something and I got a flashlight and called the animal control people. I hope the cat is ok - - it couldn't walk and was in a lot of pain but eventually the owner turned up and that was where I exited. So - I didn't do much really just glad I had a cell phone and some D batteries. Really the whole thing was a matter of circumstance - - right place right time and lucky I had extra batteries due to a bizarre turn of events and thus found the poor injured little one.

This makes me think of the reality of life and I am not talking about fate or anything so lofty but lately I realize that some things seem to happen due to things that are somewhat bizzarre but lead to wonderful conclusions. This scenario involves cats and batteries but.......another recent occurence involves not winning a free truck but finding something better.

Recently, I went to this bonfire party that a friend of a friend was having at the beach for two reasons: 1) I wanted to go to a Bonfire party on the Beach and 2) I wanted to win a free truck that the friend's friend was giving away at the party. My introverted self would not allow me to compete in the car competition to a certain extent but.....I was able to find a better way to spend my time. I found myself in a conversation with another rather quiet soul.......engrossed in dialogue over such things as good names for a band. I suggested the Dante Culpeppers.......and that made him smile. The smile was just the door and ever since I have been privy to a pretty amazing world........so far I have only seen a glimpse but it is already worth giving up a silly truck.

So the moral of these short and vague stories: somethings seem to happen for a reason.....or sometimes you get some use out of things/situtations which is not the intended use but is much better.........or there are good reasons to have extra batteries and at some times being quiet or introverted is a really valuable asset.

So with that - - Happy Holidays - - oh and this is called Silent Night because during the hurt kitty debaucle - - this was the song which was emitted from the house directly behind the spot where that cat lay injured. So it is now forever engraved on my brain - - which is actually really damn annoying. So - - I have two further suggestions: 1) Do not have Christmas Music play from the lights hung on your house (and probably don't hang lights) and 2) If you cannot for some reason follow rule # 1 then at the very least play good music.......the walkmen have a christmas song.....you can find something less offensive than mall muzac x-mas tunes - - really. I mean if you go through all the effort of bringing your neighborhood some x-mas cheer --- why not use that time to also show them how cool you are with your ability to be a little creative ........I mean Silent Night that is so last Christmas - - am I right?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

May it Please the Court

Remember when this was enough? Whoever you are or were was enough to keep you entertained for hours. I could sit alone in my room forever and read and write and play and put on plays....ride bikes outside....perform medical miracles with my chemistry set.....go on adventures...perform daring feats which in retrospect were really dangerous....play instruments......take pictures. I was a damn inventive kid if I do say so myself...and I do.

Then life happens - things change....the social dynamics of life demand more from you and you demand more from life. Be it boys, friends, or some latent need to fulfill some childhood loss of a father/mother.....what have you. The wheels are in motion - - new curiosities are piqued and the alone thing - although not without its merits has a metamorphosis and becomes perhaps the wings of the beast but no longer the beast itself.

The only thing that must be guarded against in this scenario and we will keep the same analogies as to not get too convoluted.....one must guard against crawling or walking all the time...i.e. you have wings - you must remember to use them.

And so there are moments in life specifically designed to remind you of this. There is that moment you step off of the edge of a cliff unknowingly and fall stories and stories until you remember once again....ahhh the wings....yes the wings...use them.

Sometimes these moments are self created....even if only subconsciously so. Self created drama....but it is somewhat of an illusion...it is real but it is also a self inflicted lesson of your own design. You are the cowgirl and you hold the lasso and don't ever let the nine year old inside you stop running with scissors or turning over rocks until you've got it all figured out.

this sounds a bit unintentionally preachy....and thus with that - the defense rests your honor.