Happy 4.20...one and all

LET’S GET TO IT, STRIKE A POSE - THERE’S NOTHING TO IT…VOGUE.

So…I have been absent a while. Not really absent - - just trying to find my footing as always – right? There is a lot of stuff going on in my life as there is in everyone’s lives. I am still waiting (for another month) to see if I passed the Bar. My Dad is going in for an operation, my brother is in the hospital, and I owe more money than God but seem utterly unable to accept any help from my mother. And my gosh darn darn student loans decide to send something to dear old moms to tell her of my financial woes…before they even tell me…which seems quite wrong and infuriating. But these are just things and drama or whatever…everyone has things and life happens all over you - - no matter what you do.

So – my plan for life. Well really that is still quite a mystery but I have decided take reign over some of it. How? Well…Here’s the plan….for as long as I have tedious and boring temp. jobs such as this where I make nearly as much money for the agency as I do for myself and I do a job far inferior to my skills because no one seems willing to hire me in what I think is my skill/pay range. But I do have a job and I put in my 40 hours and get paid peanuts…sometimes literally. Then I drown my sorrows when I can by having far too much fun with my friends and look at the stack of bills wildly taking over my life….and enough.

I do what I am supposed to do. I sit her and work and show up (almost on time) and apply daily for jobs that I think I am deserving of (though I often say that I do not because who wants to tell everyone of your constant rejection or somehow worse the silence that must be weathered). I research jobs that I want; I find information that I need; I try to find ways of dealing with my loans; I try to be frugal and still have fun. I spend my time trying to look on the bright side of life while these damn dismal clouds try to rain on my lopsided steadfast grin.

But for now…I have a plan and here it is …and if it works then more power to well me…and anti-cultures of sort. Steal this book then we’ll have you steal this movie - - right? I remember learning about these movements that occurred in the 60’s mimicking Marx's Communist Manifesto and the like…trying to deal with the Vietnam War…trying to push an idea for a different society out there…trying to see if Capitalism wasn’t to blame for far more problems in the world than we can really put our fingers on. It didn’t all work out as we all know but it put some great ideas out there and caused a ruckus in many areas. Countercultures are like that – I believe. They often fail to truly take hold because the reason they work at all is that they have a thing to fight against a monster, a machine, a society….and they often fail to grow legs and walk on their own. These counter cultures become forces of great energy fighting against that which they despise but not really made of too much by themselves. Bodies in motion remain in motion and bodies at rest remain at rest…..until - - right ….So, I am not 100% right ever and sometimes a little push or a little something to push against helps a lot. I mean we got here somehow. Anyway….that is likely too convoluted to understand…

But in honor of those like the Yippies (Take a look at Jerry Rubin’s Yippie Manifesto - - if you’ve never read it) and the Communists and the Hippies and the Pranksters….I am going to stage my own miniature coup d’etat and show up for work and instead use at least half of this time to write…That gives me 3 ½ - 4 hours or so a day to work on my great novel…that will change the world or at least make me smile and someone else will pay me to do it…unwittingly (for now) - of course.

Ubermensch

Yeah ...Google it - -it will be fun. I am ain a pensive state today - that or I have a stomach ache. I am confused because I was just called to submit my transcript to the firm in which I temp. to see if they can use me as a lawyer which is impossible as I haven't passed the Bar. Whatever that is life and today I truly feel like Kundera says that Life is elsewhere.

Since life has brought me to the wonderous temp. job working with records and documents and such excitement. It is not difficult to imagine that life is certainly at least outside.