giving up

Maybe there is a reason just to give up (this of course makes me think of postal service).....anyway - - I mean really just live a lie .....play with fire. I could just become a money loving republican - - - dump toxics - - eat paste - - kill kill kill. I could become a character from the book The Fountainhead -- - eat logic for breakfast........love art and beauty and hide from the world because I know you'd never really appreciate it or something like that. Be fat - happy - lazy and far less tortured.........keep the secret of my love of life and art and beauty to myself until it is eaten by the patent office of my discontent and my lie becomes a realty.

For this I would have to listen to what? Bauhaus? Oasis? Britney Spears? Maddona - - I am thinking "material girl" era here.............or likely Gwor or Iron Maiden.......Phish's Weigh (is that what that is called).......or Liz Phair's new album for the sell out quality.....something ambient yet disturbing by Boards of Canada..........or the light and beautiful sounds of Elliot Smith while I become all that killed him?